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Slacker. Oh wait, you're not.

By Michael Phillips

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Slacker - oh wait…no you’re not

    Many people these days are proud and shout out of their slackerness, and by taking a real look at these people makes me think either they are not really slackers and just slacker wanna be’s or the slacker standards have lowered ten fold. So I’m here to tell the clear-cut slacker criteria in the following areas of school, work, and social life.

    I hear a lot of people saying, "Dude, I have this huge AP project and I haven’t started till this last week, man I’m such a slacker!" or something similar. No you are not a slacker. You cannot be in any AP classes and be a slacker. AP class and slacker do not compute. Also if you actively participate in almost any after school activity whether it is a sport, SCA, or key club you are not a slacker. It takes a lot of effort to keep up in all those things. And you know what slackers say about effort, they’ll have none of it.

    If you have a job, simple you’re not a slacker. Even if you seek out and find the easiest job ever…. you still had to find it, apply, and actively go there and do work of some sort. Simple rule, if you are working you are not slacking.

    What you do in your spare time or with you social life is where the slacker lines become fuzzy. But I’m here to make it as simple as possible. A true slacker will not be leader of his group of friends; the slacker is not the one who calls up everyone and gets everything organized. A slacker will not want to leave far from his house to hang out or do something, and if something is organized far away you will hear his complaining. A slacker will not go out and try to find something to do he waits for it to come to him. And a quick side note for all you addicts of one thing or another….your not slacker if you just stay in your basement and further your crack addiction because I’m assuming its a lot of effort to get the money for and takes even more effort to get your crack or whatever you crazy kids are doing.

    So are you a slacker? No your not. Do want to pretend to be a slacker? I wouldn’t think so. Unless you like being or pretend being a hermit who doesn’t do anything and most likely has a very slim social life - do not be proud of "being" a slacker. And I hope I enlightened you all.

Michael Phillips


1999 - 2004 Something Strange Productions